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What's the Racket? Here's how to fill out your bracket

I've got the Madness.
Or maybe it's the Mania.
Perhaps I should refer to it as Mayhem.
Whatever you want to call it, I'm ready for the NCAA tournament to begin – as in right now, let's get it on.
And, if you're filling out a bracket (who doesn't), I've got some help for you.
I call it Bracket Racket.
For the past five years, I've used this scientific formula to correctly pick three winners and just missed on Ohio State a couple years ago.
I've tweaked it again this year, despite few error reports from last March, so chances are it'll be another banner year.
Here's what you need to do:
We'll, start off with an easy one: Eliminate all No. 16 seeds. Cross them off, do not advance any of them. Nada. Zilch. It's not gonna happen this year.
I don't like alphabet soup. Go ahead and eliminate BYU, VCU, LSU, USC and UCLA, although I can't blame you for wanting to see Bruins or Trojans cheerleaders for a couple weeks.
State-ment time. Teams with State in its name won't win, either. That means Ohio State, Cleveland State (c'mon a Cleveland team doing well?), North Dakota State, Michigan State, Mississippi State, Utah State, Oklahoma State, Florida State, Portland State, Arizona State and Morgan State don't have a chance. And that doesn't even count Alabama State and Morehead State in Tuesday's game.
Catch-22. You need more than 22 victories to cut down the nets in Detroit. Arizona (how'd they get in, anyway?), Boston College, Cornell, Cal, Maryland, Cal. State Northridge, Tennessee, Wisconsin, Texas, Minnesota, Temple and Michigan all can put away their scissors.
That leaves us with 32 teams. Any double-digit seeds remaining are outta here. Dayton, Robert Morris, Northern Iowa, American (yeah, it's un-American to eliminate them, but they have no shot), Binghamton, Akron and Stephen F. Austin are gone.
Win starts with 'W'. But it doesn't work out for these schools starting with that letter – West Virginia, Wake Forest, Washington and Western Kentucky.
X-out Xavier.
'L' equals loss for Louisville.
I now introduce you to the Awesome Eighteen, the teams with a chance to win: Siena, Utah, Kansas, UConn, Texas A&M, Purdue, Marquette, Missouri, Memphis, Pitt, Villanova, Duke, North Carolina, Illinois, Gonzaga, Syracuse, Clemson and Oklahoma.
Time to get real. There's no way Siena, Utah, Texas A&M, Purdue, Illinois, Clemson or Gonzaga will win.
Off the mark. Marquette doesn't have what it takes.
Not juiced about the Orange. Eliminate Syracuse.
Over for 'Nova.
No Mo for Missouri.
Not down with Duke.
So, after careful consideration, we have the Super Six: Pitt, Kansas, UConn, Memphis, North Carolina and Oklahoma.
Pitt's not it. Sorry. It won't happen for the Panthers (I'll elaborate in a later post).
From the final five (Battlestar Galactica reference), Memphis emerges as the winner.

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